Moving On Up

I pushed through high school with all that I had.  I was able to go to some school related events (watching sports events, attending dances, etc.) without much interference from my Crohn's Disease.  There was prom, too.  My twin sister and I were able to double date with some really nice guys.  It was an enjoyable time; even more so since I was healthy (all things considered).  And dressing formal is nice once in a while.  Of course there were lots of pictures taken. I even got my normally curly, frizzy, and rather unruly hair straightened.  The stick straight texture was so strange.  My fingers flowed right through it without getting tangled and without making the volume way too large for my taste.  The new look didn't last long, but it was nice for a brief change.

Now back to my sister:  Did you notice I said twin?  We're fraternal twins, and although we've had people tell us that we look alike, I strongly disagree.  Our husbands can't mix us up.  And we've never  been able to pull off a swap as a joke on other people.  We probably looked the most alike the first couple of weeks or so of our lives, and that was because we were bald.  But as our hair grew in and our features changed, it became apparent that she looked like our mother, and I looked like our father.  Her hair is a lighter brown (and not quite as curly) and mine is dark brown, almost black.     

I've been asked if she too has Crohn's.  No, fortunately she does not.  Our health has been as different as our personalities.  

As far as my dating life...well, there really isn't a lot to say there.  I don't believe it had anything to do with me being sick.  I'm usually a quiet type of person (except with my husband who could use some peace and quiet from me, I'm sure!).  I was even more quiet as a kid (painfully shy) and as a teenager.  I kept to myself most of the time.  My favorite place was probably at home in my bedroom reading a book.  I don't think that this way of being was influenced by my health.  It was just my personality as I would still rather be home than anywhere.  And my parents are like that as well.  We are a family of homebodies.  (Is that a word?)  Plus, I was never interested in dating just to go out and mingle with a guy.  My heart was set on finding "the one".  The one thing I knew I wanted to do, or become, after high school was to be a wife and a mother. (This would come with time)

When graduation time came, I remember feeling lost and apprehensive.  By now, I'd spent almost four years living a life with Crohn's Disease.  I was used to living with it in the surroundings and situations I was currently in .  There were people who knew of my health issues and what I was dealing with to some degree, and I felt safe and comfortable with where I was and with who I was with.  

I was a weirdo who didn't want to leave high school  What I wanted was some consistency where the ups and downs of Crohn's didn't allow for that.  I didn't really even know what I wanted to do after high school.  I'd spent so much time trying to get better physically that thinking about anything beyond the present was hard.  But I made my choice based on a drafting class that I took while in school.  I had a great teacher who desired to be the best example for his students.  The atmosphere of the class was enjoyable. So what's so bad about that you ask?  Well, my heart wasn't in the actual subject of drafting.  It was hanging on the memory of the class.  My decision was made incorrectly, and I believe that to be the case because I didn't fully understand the power of prayer yet.  If I had given it to God, He would have shown me which way to go with my future.  

But I chose my path alone.  At the time that I finally realized I had made the wrong decision regarding my future, it seemed like the end of the world; remember I had lots of anxiety.  In reality, it was just a wrong turn (or maybe the right one).  It was a detour of sorts.  God led me back to the road I was supposed to be on .  I felt the pull to go into nursing.  My times in and out of the hospital, doctor's offices, as well as being in contact with various medical personnel gave me insight from the patient's point of view that maybe others wouldn't have.  I was excited to make this change.