Let's Take a Look

Eventually, after marriage, Geoff would get to experience the yearly ileoscopy.  This would be where my gastroenterologist would take a look at my small intestines and make sure there were no signs of Crohn's Disease making its return and that all looked healthy.

Lucky for him (and luckier for me), Geoff didn't have to endure my experience with the prep needed for colonscopies to clean out the intestines.  I don't have to do this with an ileostomy.  If anyone has had to be prepped for a colonoscopy, or had diarrhea due to a stomach virus, imagine that experience with a bag attached to you.

Now I've had to deal with diarrhea and my ileostomy because unfortunately the stomach virus still finds its way in my body.  It would seem great that one wouldn't have to run to the bathroom with those sudden and emergent urges.  But the problem is emptying a bag full of liquid.  It doesn't even have to be full.  Any liquid output can be hard to aim into the toilet without a mess.  The bag has to be emptied often.  Sleep is at a minimum with this issue.  It fills up so fast and sleeping doesn't slow the output down.

The worst part of the ileoscopy (besides being a mess after the procedure due to output) is the bloating.  They blow air into the intestines to widen them to make them more visible.  The air doesn't absorb into the intestinal walls.  It's got to come back out.  For the next few hours after the procedure, I have to deal with a bloated ileostomy bag (the bag balloons) and the discomfort that being bloated affords.  (This is still better than a colonoscopy prep.)

Anyway, back to the ileoscopy: the more entertaining and challenging part for Geoff would be after the test is complete.  The first few scopes, I had after having an ileostomy, I would be sedated.  So Geoff would come back to the recovery room to a groggy, slightly incoherent Megan.  Who knows (except for him) what I said.  I'd ask this once I awake enough to think.  He never admitted to anything.  He probably has videos stashed away to use in case he needs to pay me back for something someday.

I wouldn't be under anesthesia long because the test itself is maybe ten minutes long.  I know this because I no longer get sedated for the procedure.  This wasn't an issue the first couple of times.  My gastroenterologist even suggested it.  And for me, it’s barely noticeable that he's in there with this long, skinny, flexible tube looking at the inside for my small intestines.  It's even neat for me to be able to see what's going on.  And I like not having the 'hangover" when the procedure is finished.  It allows us to be able to leave the hospital quicker.  And the procedure can be messy as I’m not allowed to eat or drink for so many hours prior to the procedure, so whatever output there is becomes liquid, and inevitably there is a mess around my wafer once the procedure is complete  The more awake I am, the easier it is to get cleaned up.

However, the lack of anesthesia was an issue for one person at my last ileoscopy: the anesthesiologist.  My gastroenterologist had already confirmed and okayed that I didn't want anesthesia (like I said, it was his idea to begin with).  But the anesthesiologist didn't like that I refused the anesthesia for the procedure.  He wanted quick access in case of a need to administer a medication in an emergency.  I get that.  I said if he wanted an IV access point, go ahead and put one in.  But I do not want to be sedated.  My doctor and myself had already discussed it.  He was perturbed I could tell.  As if I couldn't hear him a few feet away, he was discussing with the other staff the situation.  And then he commented as they wheeled me out that I got what I wanted using that tone of voice that makes one feel 2 inches tall.  Real good bedside manner huh?  The nurses and my doctor made sure to let me know that my decision was fine.

Geoff's experience after this ileoscopy: he saw his wife's anger directed not at him for once.  Haha!

How I Met Your Ostomy

Well, so this is Geoff, the husband. Megan asked me to follow up last week's post by giving my point of view of my introduction to her ostomy.

To be honest, I don't remember much from that moment. That, of course, doesn't surprise me as I can't even remember what I ate for lunch yesterday! But I do remember that we were at my apartment in Ashland City, TN, and we had probably just gotten back from going out to eat somewhere. She pulled out an extra set of equipment to try and show how things connected together for the process as a whole.  I probably got a little queasy as I seem to do any time she talks about it with others, but I didn't get too bad that time.

It seems weird that I don't remember a whole lot from this time where she told me all about her ostomy, but isn't that kind of the point? One of the main reasons I encouraged Megan to write this blog was to show people who may be just getting started with an ostomy bag that life can be relatively normal. So the fact that I don't remember a lot from this sharing is also a testament to how it has just been a normal part of our relationship.

In regard to our first date, the story she told last week is completely true! As she mentioned, having been on eHarmony, I had been on a few other "first dates". This one obviously had a very different feel, and I know the manager at Longhorn Steakhouse only referenced her smile, but I know that I wasn't frowning either!

Our second date was quite the story as well... We decided to go see a movie! Well, being Labor Day, there wasn't a wide selection of movies out and available. So we ended up seeing the movie "Gamer" with Gerard Butler. It was quite possibly one of the worst movies I've ever paid to see! My apologies if you liked this movie, but only 28% of people on Rotten Tomatoes did, so I guess most people agree with us! I remember thinking the entire movie, "This is terrible and inappropriate. We really should leave. But would she think of me less that I can't handle scenes like this? Maybe she likes it?? (Which of course, she didn't either!)" But it was afterwards that Megan and I officially started dating, and of course, the rest is history!

One last point I'd like to mention while I have the floor is the blessing it has been to have her. Besides of course the obvious years of marriage, son, and memories. A few years ago, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. It clearly is not at the extreme of Megan's Crohn's, but it requires me to take medicine everyday for it. Having Megan around made the process so much easier as she knew how the different procedures would go! Without her guidance, I have no idea how I would have made it through the diagnosis, and very well could have not even brought it to the attention of a doctor in the first place! I hope that this blog of hers can help someone else who is staring at procedures like the ones Megan has had, but that she can guide and share the expectations through the process for someone else.

Love & An Ostomy

I have to share the story of my husband and myself met.  For one reason, it's too special not to share.  And for another reason, he wasn't just getting me in the relationship.  He was getting my health baggage, too.  And I would have to tell him about it and explain that and hope that he would not run away.

 As has been mentioned in previous posts, I was depressed and lonely.  I had been looking for "the one" since I was 13 or 14 years old.  At this point I was 23.  My siblings were married and out on their own.  And one had a child.  I guess I probably felt left behind.  With my health issues, I wasn't up to dating much, but I was always looking for that one guy that would make my life complete. 

Where I was at the time didn't lead to the meeting of many people anywhere close to my age.  And I didn't go out much in general due to not feeling well with Crohn's.  Plus, I'm just a homebody.  I got the suggestion from my mom to try eHarmony.  I was floored that she would suggest because it was such an out-of-the-box idea that I never expected to come from anyone in my family.  But I went with it.  The site asked many questions to get the best idea of the interests and desires of the client and to be able to match them with a potential suitor.  After filling out the necessary information, I was given a list of male matches that can be contacted if the client finds them of interest.  I sent out a few messages, but the only one that contacted me back was my now husband.

We communicated through the eHarmony site briefly and realized we had both were on Facebook, so we switched over to that as our sole source of communication for a while.  Of course, we would need to meet sooner or later if this relationship was going to go anywhere.  But this was where I was most nervous, and not only because we would be meeting for the first time, but because I was meeting someone I'd only spoken to on the internet.  Now I have seen enough movies, TV shows, and news reports to know that people can be on the screen may not be the person who is communicating with you. 

With this realization, Geoff suggested we meet in a public place and in our case, that was the food court of a mall.  I'm sure I got the approval of my family before the outing.  And thankfully, he looked like his profile picture. 

We decided to eat at Longhorn Steakhouse, and the story to follow has provided us with a yearly tradition to celebrate.  As we walk into the restaurant, the manager is standing there.  Apparently, I had a large grin on my face because he asks Geoff if he just proposed.  We told him that we'd just met.  He takes us to our table, we order and eat, and the manager cimes back to our table with balloons and their Chocolate Stampede dessert.  He apologizes for embarrassing us (although we were more humored than embarrassed) and says our ticket is taken care of.  We like to think we have
a great first date story.  Every year we go to Longhorn around the time of our first date and always order the Chocolate Stampede.  (This year, we happened to get the dessert for free.)

A few weeks into or relationship, I realized I would need to be upfront about my health issues.  It seemed unfair not to share issues that would be a part of his life if things grew more serious.  I'm not good at explaining things verbally.  I need visual aids.  But I didn't want to shine my ostomy bag to this guy I had known for just a short time.  However, I always have my spare ostomy bag, wafer, and accessories with me just in case I need to make an emergency appliance change.  I used that to give him a more visual idea of what I was trying to explain.  I don't know how much he understood, but he didn't run away in disgust or fear. 

On one date, in the beginning of our relationship, I had to use the spare ostomy appliance.  We were going to a football game with some of his friends and went to eat first.  The ostomy bag I had on sprung a leak.  I was trying to subtly get his attention to let him know this and find out where the restrooms were.  He just kept saying hold on because he wasn't understanding what I was trying to say.  I learned then I would have to be more blunt.  (This is still the case.)  Once he figured out what I was needing, he was apologetic, and helped me the best he could.  That was the first time I'd had to change my ostomy appliance outside of home or work.  And this was the first time I'd met his friends.  I'm not sure they were aware of the situation but I almost wish they were.  It was embarrassing because it seemed like I was in the restroom a long time.  And it was a single occupancy restroom.  People were waiting on me.  And I had leaked enough to get my shirt dirty.  I was thankful to have worn a long sleeve shirt under a short sleeve one.  I could just take off the dirty one and be good to go.  As embarrassing and gross as that was to me, he still stuck around. 

He was there when I had surgery to remove the rectal muscles.  He despises hospitals.  But he tried to be there the whole time I had to stay there.  We continued to date.  And seven months after our first date, he proposed.  Six months after that, we were married.