The Significant Other

Recently, my husband and I celebrated 8 years of marriage.  It's not a long time to most people, but it is a feat.  One we are both proud of.  Marriage is HARD.  Things can get ugly.  Things can get messy.  And life is going to happen.  There is no Cinderella story hiding anywhere.  Throw a child or two or...things get even more interesting.  And even harder and definitely messier.  How many times have we went to bed with dishes in the sink (which I really don't like because it's like things are left undone), but we are just done after we get our little guy in the bed.  And I really am when my husband isn't here in the evenings to help out.   

Now lets throw in that "life happens" bit.  Some of us (probably all actually) have had life happen to us before we ever start dating and get married.  Life happened to me at 14 years old.  I was side swiped by the bad health semi truck and diagnosed with Crohn's Disease.  Then, it would come back and run over me a few times in the form of relapses. 

Today, I thought back to the time I told my husband about having Crohn's Disease and then of my ileostomy.  I've written a blog about it previously which you can read here.  And then my husband shared his view of learning about this which you can read here.  It was awkward as it's not really something I talk about with people.  It's more of something that gets mentioned in conversation when it's a need-to-know situation.  People don't always respond to this sort of conversation with welcome arms.  But if I was going to be in a serious relationship with a guy, he needed to know.  I kept the explanation simple, I had my spare ostomy bag and other supplies there to show him, and I left it to where he could ask questions if he needed to. 

This information could have scared him off.  He could have walked away right then.  But he didn't.  He didn't even seem phased by the news.  Maybe it was just a good poker face.  I don't even remember discussing it beyond that very much.  It was just like he thought, "Okay, this is a part of her.  She's doing well.  And if she has a change of circumstances, we'll deal with it." 


People, this is the way it should be.  Your special person may initially run away scared.  That's understandable to me.  News like this, when it's not something in that person's normal environment, can be overwhelming.  But that person shouldn't stay in that mindset.  And you don't want to be with a person like that either.  If they blow you off in bad (or potentially bad) health before you get married, they sure won't stick around if you do get married.  The vow says "In sickness and in health".  Having health issues isn't good.  But in some ways, it could be a blessing.  You get to see where your significant other stands on that issue before you commit the rest of your life to them.