You Want Me to Put That Where?

Much of the time at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital seems like a dream (not to the nightmare extreme but definitely not butterflies and daisies).  I had found myself in yet another place and position that I had never been in before: in a hospital as a patient with needs far more serious than my 14 year old self could understand.  It felt as though I had entered another world. (And before long, thanks to anesthesia, I really would be.)  I had no idea what I was about to face.

We met the doctor.  I can't recall actually speaking to her myself.  I just remember that question she asked me that I brought up in the previous blog post: why didn't I tell anyone?  That question has stayed with me all of these years.  And, at times, I find myself still wondering why I didn't tell anyone.  I didn't have an answer for her.

I met what seemed like hundreds more medical personnel as my mind was spinning taking in the unfamiliar sounds and scenery and with the various bits of instruction and information I was getting.

I'm sure there were other tests at this initial visit, like more lab work, but the only one that stood out was the dreaded COLONOSCOPY. Only, I didn't yet realize that the actual procedure was the easy part.  And even more, the "cleaning out" process they wanted me to do was a walk in the park compared to future colonoscopies to come.

They handed me an enema and told me where to insert it and all the other info one needs for this liquid.  But here's how in the dark I was; I got stuck on the part of where to insert it.  They wanted me to stick it where?  No literally.  I don't understand.  However, when they asked me if I understood, I said yes.  (Sad I know.  Naïve I tell ya!)  I'm fairly certain I didn't get what an enema was for either.

If they said, it had already went in and out of my completely overwhelmed brain.  I took my time and made the attempt to use this foreign object.  And I came out a failure.  But no worries.  They knew exactly what to do.  The foreign object turned out to be "Drano" for the intestines.  They want you to hold this powerful liquid inside for a certain period of time so it can really do some work.  Not happening!

For the life of me I can't understand why I needed the stuff.  Oh, I'm sure it's standard procedure for an "unprepped" person.  But what none of them could see was how often my body was cleaning itself out: before, during, after meals and many times in between.

I made it through the prep and was set up for the actual colonoscopy.  Did I mention this would be my first IV experience?  (Like I said-life changing.)  It wasn't traumatic for me, although I can imagine the fear of the one trying to find a vein on a dehydrated being as I must have been.  But it was managed because next came the good stuff: medicine that makes you go to sleep and get the best sleep possible.

There was one hiccup here though (and the only time I've had this happen).  Eventually, they must let up on the administering of the medication as they want you to wake up and get back to the real world after the procedure is over.  And I believe they let up too soon on me because before it was over, before making all the sharp turns, I could feel the pain involved that makes you understand why this medicine is given.  I tried to say something, do something, but there was just enough medication to keep my motor skills temporarily paralyzed.  Once I regained enough consciousness to speak, I voiced my concern.  Now I can't remember what the resolution was, but like I said, this was the only time I've experienced this. 

Where were my parents during all of this?  I couldn't say, although I doubt they were far away.  But once I was awake, they were there.  And we got an answer to the daunting question of what was going on . On February 16, 2001, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis.  How can that be when your blogsite is clearly titled "Crushing Life with Crohn's"?  That part of the story will come later.

Although it was a relief to finally have a diagnosis, the relief wouldn't last.  Here started the beginning of an up and down battle with physical, emotional, and spiritual health.